How to Ask ‘Why’ the Right Way

This simple question could become your business’ best frenemy. Teach agents how to use it wisely.

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“Why?”

It’s a preschooler’s favorite word and your agents’ best friend and worst enemy, or frenemy, when it comes to actually finding out why a potential buyer is looking for a home. A good agent will want to know why a client wants to buy or sell; a great agent will want to understand the reason behind the desire. So just asking why is a good start, but without digging deeper, it can come across as more of a business question than a desire to truly understand what the customer is thinking and experiencing. That’s what makes it dangerous. To truly understand a customer’s mission, agents must dig deeper.

There are two key ways you as a broker can teach agents to dig deeper. First, make sure your salespeople are looking to actually understand clients’ problems, not just sell them a solution.

In order to do this, they have to connect with customers on a personal level. Ask your agents to think about how different it feels when a doctor is sincerely interested in you, rather than just trying to get through the appointment so they can move on to the next patient. When a doctor takes the time, asks the right questions, and really listens to make sure they understand, you have confidence in them. When they take a sincere interest in you, you trust them and will follow their advice and leadership.

Another thought exercise to help agents understand this concept is to ask them about a friend or family member who is really good at helping them work through problems they’re trying to solve or a decision they’re trying to make. Chances are the friend or family member is truly interested in helping find the right solution. They become a partner in understanding, solving, and resolving issues. That’s the kind of connection agents can create with customers by seeking to understand their problem rather than seeking to sell a solution.

Once you’ve enabled your agents to see the difference between knowing and understanding their clients’ issues, you can give them the tools they need to act on it. Show them that “how,” “when,” and “what” questions will help them uncover the deeper “why” of any situation.

A depressed person doesn’t walk into a counselor’s office knowing why they are depressed. They’re there because they haven’t figured it out. So a counselor might ask, “When was the last time you were depressed?” Then they might ask what happened or what they were doing before they felt depressed. Similarly, agents may have to ask a series of “what” and “how” questions to uncover the why. They might ask what a customer likes or doesn’t like about their current situation or the options they’ve seen so far. From there, agents can summarize and recite the answers back to them, saying something like, “So it sounds like you’re looking for X, Y, and Z. Suppose you had that today. How would that improve your life?”

Agents who are skeptical of this approach might need an example to help them understand how powerful it can be when they help clients discover a deeper truth they didn’t even know about themselves. Let’s say a salesperson asks why a potential buyer wants a bigger backyard, the customer might say they want a pool. After asking why having a pool is important to them, the agent may find out that the family wants to have friends over so they can entertain and have fun at home. Simple enough, right? In times like these, agents have to go through a side door to find out the deeper answer and discover what’s truly important to their clients. For example, they might ask one more question: “How do you feel it will affect your kids’ lives to have a pool?” From here, customers may reveal they didn’t grow up with a house or atmosphere that was accommodating to friends and they want their kids to have a better experience than they did. This gives the agent a much greater understanding of what the consequences are if the customer doesn’t make a change. It may be too much pressure on the client to discover the deeper truths, and it’s an agent’s job to uncover it for them.

This approach requires staying focused on finding out the full story to truly understand the client’s mission to improve their lives. This information is one of the most powerful sales tools an agent has. But to discover the why, agents must do more than just ask why.

Credit to Jason Forrest
Jason Forrest is a sales trainer, management coach, member of the National Speakers Association’s Million Dollar Speakers Group, and author of three books, including his latest, Leadership Sales Coaching.
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